Postcard to my first love

Mail to - the afterlife
Return to - my heart

Message on back - xoxo, thanks for inspiring me

Peace

I said I would update this sooner... I lied.

Here is a small piece of me:

Don't know what to do with a blog

Maybe I'll get back to this blog someday... like now.

Seriously, blogging is something I've always wanted to do but I've always to lazy or focused on a single thing to just sit down and write.

I currently post a lot of poetry on a different art site, but I have hard time finding a way to get that stuff here. Maybe I should?

Anyways, maybe I should take this time to explain myself, who I am and why I want to write. My name is Darla and I grew up in a small town, with a brother with a disability. He has autism, you can just google that, its pretty common now anyways. My family was a bit disfunctional but that was ok, I enjoyed it.

Personally I feel like I've done a lot even though I'm still stuck at home living with my parents and barely survived with school fees and want food and my constant craving for Starbucks (a student can't afford this, trust me).

I fell in love once, I know that in itself is not much of an accomplishment because we're all supposed to do that eventually anyway. But my first love taught me more than I think I will learn in the rest of this life. He gave me proof that life was more that just what we see even though he didn't really believe in that himself.

I like to write... mostly poetry and stuff. I like to take pictures, especially macro because that's all my camera is good at. I like to play with photo editing even though I use is a free knock-off of paint.NET.

Anyways right now I'm supposed to be writing an English assignment, I'll get back to that, and maybe post a poem here later.

- Darla :)

Heaven

19 Tulips

I feel like I am a living movie,
the scene of your death was so cliche
and now, here I lay
whispering musings to your grave
I close my eyes, a single tear falls
I wonder if I should let them free

But I don't want to intrupt your rest
I hear the birds singing a love-filled lullaby
and I lay my head down beside you
imagining your face in the gray ground

I remember how they lowered you in,
encased with white pillows,
in a light wooden box
Inside vibrant royal blue you rest
your name encased in stainless steel.

I tell myself, if it was me
no place I would rather be
than right here, 8 feet under
with my lover reaching down

I cry and I smile
I curl into a ball
I steal a stone from the grave yard

the only place I find peace.

SUDEP

Sudden

Unexpected

Death

SUDEP

1 in 1000

Epilepsy patients

Uncontrolled seizures

I love one

One with that condition

1 in 1000

I loved that one

The 1 in a 1000

That will suddenly,

Unexpectedly

Die.



1 in 1000

Never thought it would be me.



-----------

While it wasn't exactly SUDEP ... it was close enough.

How does someone drown from one minute (if that) under water ....
it still doesn't add up.


SUDEP - Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy Patients.
It's more likely to happen to someone with uncontrolled seizures but 1 in 1000 people with epilepsy will die, unexpectedly, with no explanation ... (I hate writing that, it sounds so horrible)

Before he died, I didn't even know that this existed. So always live for today, you never know whats gonna happen . . .

3 Months, 2 Days, 20 Minutes

3 months, 2 days, 20 minutes ago
a single heart slowed,
raised by a mothers scream,
calmed by a lovers hold

you whispered in a ear
that was two rooms away

love is the miracles,
the guardian angel

love is the heart speeding up,
even when its slowing down

love is the nurses,
turning off the alarms

love is me,
kissing lifeless lips,
bloodstained

love is strong;
death is stronger.