It was exactly one month ago on Valentines Day that Jason Neate, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. He was 19 years old, and is very dear to my heart. We had been a couple for almost seven months, my first boyfriend, and his longest girlfriend. We were in it for long term. Just a few days ago, I started writing poetry once again out of desperation and loneliness and the need to do "something"
One Month Ago
One month ago, my world stopped spinning
My heart kept racing, all alone
I kissed your hand, I kissed your nose
I paced for hours, in the hall
I sang beside you, all night long
Shared our stories, had some laughs
Shared our secrets, shed some tears
I saw you blink, I saw your eyes
I saw your body, but felt your soul
Your lips not moving,
I heard a whisper, heard my name
Rushed to your side, your pulse was slowing
Your mother screamed, your father cried
When we arrived, I saw you fighting
The numbers jumping, up then down
I held your hand, I watched your chest,
Rise and fall, with every breath
Could not believe, that you might die
Could not believe, you had to survive
One month ago, our world stopped spinning
Your brother said
“Can’t find his pulse”
Could not believe, could not believe
I kissed your hand, I kissed your nose
I felt the warmth, still fading away
I felt a liquid stain my lip
It was your body
It was your soul
Your life echoed in my own
I see the world, it’s not the same
I feel the empty, I feel the pain
I feel your hand over mine
Our fingers intertwined
I feel your body
Wrapped around mine
But turn around, see nothing
Lost
I don’t see how, I don’t see why
One month ago the world kept spinning
Someway, somehow, it should have stopped.
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