A Drowning Rose

It’s something so simple, so beautiful
Doctors cannot stop it,
Try as they might
Sometimes so afraid, so useless
Every emotion peaked
The flower that grows in the rain
The downpour,
Of ignorance
Of fear
Of neglect

You are my rose,
Cannot stand to see those petals fallen,

Floating

Musings of a Lonely Woman

Just A Tiny Flaw

I loved every part
Every flaw
Every wrong
In you
The imperfections
They shined to me
The struggles you had
Made you stronger to me
I was so in love
So blinded by love
That I could see no faults
No weakness
No breaks
Even when,
You were
Just a tiny bit broken
A tiny bit
That I loved

And still love

But can I love
That tiny little flaw

When that tiny little flaw
Latched onto your mind,
At just the wrong time

And pulled you deep,
Down, away

Underwater

How can I still love the disease
When the disease stole my love?



A Missing

Take me in your arms tonight
Hold me close, let my breath
Bounce off your invisible chest
Let me run my fingers across your soul
Lets ours intertwine
Ghostly kisses, a gentle life
Pick me up, take me away,
Let me leave my body
Just a moment more
Let me see what comes next
Let me see what god has given you
In exchange for the pain and hate we feel
Let me see the perfection
The life, in death
Let yourself glisten
Then gently lead me back
To my soul, to my life
So I can rest, believe
Know that your pure white hands
Can still push me forward,
Guide me
Please my love, take me away tonight

Just for a moment
And restart my life
Refreshed, with no regrets

A Tear

It tingles
It tickles
A single drop
Fell from the roof,
I felt it splash
My hair, my hand
Could the roof be leaking?
This house is not that old
I look around, I see no water
I feel myself, there is no water

How could it be? Impossible at least

Then that night I lay in bed
I feel the tickle once again
Its on my arm,
Its on my wrist
I fall asleep in peace.

I sit inside the bus,
The bus I ride to see you
I am talking to my friends
I feel the drop,
once again,
Upon my hand,
I turn, I jump

It is not wet

You must of seen me jerk,
Seen me in your power,
For I felt it once again
And a bigger splash.
A dance upon my skin,
A tingle, a tickle, a single tear

Can I imagine ,
Such a sensation

Or is it
You,
my sweet,
Crying out to me?

A Poem for Jason - One Month Ago

It was exactly one month ago on Valentines Day that Jason Neate, suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. He was 19 years old, and is very dear to my heart. We had been a couple for almost seven months, my first boyfriend, and his longest girlfriend. We were in it for long term. Just a few days ago, I started writing poetry once again out of desperation and loneliness and the need to do "something"



One Month Ago

One month ago, my world stopped spinning
My heart kept racing, all alone
I kissed your hand, I kissed your nose
I paced for hours, in the hall
I sang beside you, all night long
Shared our stories, had some laughs
Shared our secrets, shed some tears
I saw you blink, I saw your eyes
I saw your body, but felt your soul
Your lips not moving,
I heard a whisper, heard my name

Rushed to your side, your pulse was slowing
Your mother screamed, your father cried
When we arrived, I saw you fighting
The numbers jumping, up then down
I held your hand, I watched your chest,
Rise and fall, with every breath
Could not believe, that you might die
Could not believe, you had to survive

One month ago, our world stopped spinning
Your brother said
“Can’t find his pulse”
Could not believe, could not believe
I kissed your hand, I kissed your nose
I felt the warmth, still fading away
I felt a liquid stain my lip
It was your body
It was your soul
Your life echoed in my own

I see the world, it’s not the same
I feel the empty, I feel the pain
I feel your hand over mine
Our fingers intertwined
I feel your body
Wrapped around mine
But turn around, see nothing
Lost

I don’t see how, I don’t see why
One month ago the world kept spinning
Someway, somehow, it should have stopped.

The End

This is the tribute in memory of Jason Neate.



Songs Used:
100 Years - Five For Fighting
Follow Me - Uncle Kracker
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson
All These Things That I've Done - The Killers
I Would Walk 500 Miles - The Proclaimers
Iron Man - Black Sabbath
Hard To Concentrate - Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Love Me Tender - Elvis Presley
Bubbly - Colbie Caillat
Ring Of Fire - Johnny Cash
I'm Yours (Live) - Jason Marz
Seasons Of The Sun - Westlife

(I do not claim to own any of these songs, I merely am using them to represent and honour Jason. Most of these are among his favorites)